Subject: TOURBUS -- 11 JUNE 1998 -- TOURBUS URBAN LEGEND COMBAT KIT
Date: Sun, 14 Jun 1998 12:23:54 -0500
From: crispen@NETSQUIRREL.COM
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TODAY'S TOURBUS STOP: THE TOURBUS URBAN LEGEND COMBAT KIT (PART 1)
Howdy, y'all! The summer term at the University of Alabama began a
few days ago, so this and the next four TOURBUS posts from me will
probably be posted a couple of days late (like on Saturday-ish
instead of Thursday-ish). As anyone who has taken university
summer term classes can attest, every waking hour of my life is
now consumed with studying. :(
One of the nice things about taking summer term classes, though,
is that my classroom experiences are a great source for new
TOURBUS material. For example, today's Southern Word of the
Day comes from something my strategic management professor
said in a lecture on Friday. And the whole idea for today's
post comes from an experience I had a couple of days ago
at the University of Alabama's records office. Before we
get to that, though, let's pay some bills.
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On with the show.
I had to go to the University's records office a few days ago to
change my class schedule. While I was waiting for the lady to
key in the changes to my schedule, I noticed she had taped the
following warning to her monitor (and I am kind of paraphrasing
here):
DO NOT OPEN ANY EMAIL MESSAGES WITH THE SUBJECT LINES
"GOOD TIMES" OR "AOL4FREE." THESE MESSAGES CONTAIN
VIRUSES THAT WILL DESTROY YOUR HARD DRIVE.
If you have been on our little bus of Internet happiness for a
while your response is probably identical to mine: an audible
groan. EVERYONE should know by now that you can't get a virus
from a plaintext email message, regardless of its subject line.
Period.
But it is clear that EVERYONE doesn't know this, because my
email box (and I would guess yours as well) is packed with
email virus warning messages, pleas to help a dying kid,
announcements that Nike is giving away free shoes, and
requests to help Bill Gates test an email tracing program.
To help you combat all of these urban legends, I have created
the "TOURBUS Urban Legend Combat Kit."
Here is how the Urban Legend Combat Kit works. What follows
is a collection of business-related urban legend stuff you
are free to cut and paste into a new email message (I'll post
the email-virus-related stuff next week). You can then send
the "cut and pasted" stuff to the person who sent you the
urban legend.
The first section of the Urban Legend Combat kit contains a
brief introductory note that says, pretty much
Thanks for the urban legend, bozo. The story is false. Wanna
know how I know this? I read it in TOURBUS. You should be
reading TOURBUS too, especially before you breed and pollute
this world with more bozos like you. Here's how to subscribe.
In other words, the first section is shameless self-promotion.
The second section is a collection of resources that will help
you debunk most of the business-related urban legends floating
around the Net right now. [As I said earlier, I'll get to the
email-virus-related urban legends next week.]
So, when someone sends you an urban legend (for example, the
"Craig Shergold Brain Tumor Boy" story), all you have to do is:
1. Cut and paste the rest of this post into a new email
letter to the bozo who sent you the urban legend; and
2. Delete all of the stuff that doesn't relate to the urban
legend you received (make sure you keep the introductory
paragraph, though).
Here we go ...
-------------------------------------------------------
PART 1: THE INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH (PLEASE INCLUDE THIS!)
--------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for the email! Unfortunately, the story you sent me
isn't true. I subscribe to a really fun Internet newsletter
called "TOURBUS" which debunked this urban legend *AGES* ago.
I really recommend you "hop on the bus." Besides being a free,
semi-weekly email-based newsletter that talks about neat sites
on the Net, TOURBUS is also one of the few Internet newsletters
I have found that is consistently worth reading. You can subscribe
to TOURBUS for free at <http://www.tourbus.com/tickets.htm>.
Here is what TOURBUS has to say about the email that you just sent me:
------------------------------------------------------------------
PART 2: THE URBAN LEGENDS (CUT AND PASTE THE PARAGRAPH(S) THAT ARE
APPROPRIATE. WHAT FOLLOWS ARE BUSINESS-RELATED URBAN LEGENDS. THE
EMAIL-VIRUS-RELATED URBAN LEGENDS WILL BE POSTED NEXT WEEK.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
THE URBAN LEGEND:
The President of Procter & Gamble appeared on the Phil Donahue
Show on March 1, 1994. He announced that due to the openness of
our society, he was coming out of the closet about his association
with the church of Satan
THE TRUTH (INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING IN YOUR EMAIL MESSAGE):
The story about a Proctor & Gamble executive proclaiming his love
of Satan on the Donahue show is completely false. According to
Phil Donahue
The president of P&G has never appeared on DONAHUE, nor has any
other P&G executive. Anyone who claims to have seen such a
broadcast is either mistaken or lying. It never happened!
In fact, Proctor & Gamble has created an entire Web page to
debunk this urban legend <http://www.pg.com/rumor/>. This
page also includes letters of support for Proctor & Gamble
from Phil Donahue, the Archbishop of Cincinnati, Rev. Jerry
Falwell, the Southern Baptist Convention, the Episcopal
Diocese of Southern Ohio, and the Billy Graham Evangelistic
Association.
By the way, the folks at Proctor & Gamble are taking this
urban legend seriously. So far, they have filed and won
over a dozen lawsuits against people who have spread this
story. Since you are one of the people who has spread this
story, it might be a smart idea if you forward this entire
email letter (unchanged) to everyone who received your original
"Proctor & Gamble" message so they know the original message
you sent them is a hoax.
-----
THE URBAN LEGEND:
Bill Gates has written an email-tracing program and wants you
to test it out for him. In return, he'll send you US$1000
and a copy of Windows98. [A similar version of this story
says that Nike is testing the program for Microsoft.]
THE TRUTH (INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING IN YOUR EMAIL MESSAGE):
The Bill Gates email tracing program story is a hoax that has
been floating around the Net since November of 1997. The
story wasn't true then, and it isn't true now.
To find out more about this hoax, check out the Mining Company's
Urban Legends and Folklore site at
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/blgates.htm
By the way, I noticed several people in the message you sent me
had written something like "who could it hurt?" The answer is
*YOU*! Proctor & Gamble has been dealing with a similar urban
legend recently (the P&G urban legend says a P&G executive
proclaimed his love of Satan on the Donahue show, and
asks everyone to boycott P&G's products). Proctor & Gamble's
response? So far, they have filed and won over a dozen
lawsuits against people who have spread this story.
While Microsoft hasn't filed a lawsuit against anyone (yet),
you might wantto play it safe and forward this entire email
letter (unchanged) to everyone whoreceived your original
"Bill Gates email tracing program" message sothey know the
original message you sent them is a hoax.
-----
THE URBAN LEGEND:
Nike will send you a free pair of shoes for every pair you send
back to thefactory to be recycled.
THE TRUTH (INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING IN YOUR EMAIL MESSAGE):
The story that Nike will send you free shoes is a hoax that has
been floating around the Net since the beginning of 1998.
In a recent press release,Nike's response was Nike reiterates
that all such offers did not originate with Nike and are false.
[from http://207.87.4.130/s_release.html]
You can find out more about the Nike hoax at
http://urbanlegends.miningco.com/library/weekly/aa032598.htm
Proctor & Gamble has been dealing with a similar urban legend
recently (the P&G urban legend says a P&G executive proclaimed
his love of Satan on the Donahue show, and asks everyone to
boycott P&G's products). Proctor & Gamble's response? So far,
they have filed and won over a dozen lawsuits against people
who have spread this story.
While Nike hasn't filed a lawsuit against anyone (yet), you
might want to play it safe and forward this entire email
letter (unchanged) to everyone who received your original
"Free Shoes from Nike" message so they know the original
message you sent them is a hoax.
-----
THE URBAN LEGEND:
Dying kid, part 1. A young kid is dying of cancer, and the
American Cancer Society will donate X number of cents toward
continuing cancer research for every new person that gets
forwarded a particular email message.
THE TRUTH (INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING IN YOUR EMAIL MESSAGE):
The email message stating that the American Cancer Society will
make a donation for everyone you forward a particular email
message to is a cruel and sick joke that has been circulating
around the Net for over a year. For the record, no fundraising
efforts are being made by the American Cancer Society using
chain letters of any kind. In fact, the American Cancer
Society has issued a press release at
http://www.cancer.org/chain.html
claiming that this "dying child" email letter is "fraudulent."
You can find out more about the history behind this fraudulent
email letter at
http://urbanlegends.miningco.com/library/bljess.htm
Proctor & Gamble has been dealing with a similar urban legend
recently (the P&G his love of Satan on the Donahue show, and
asks everyone to boycott P&G's products). Proctor & Gamble's
response? So far, they have filed and won over a dozen lawsuits
against people who have spread this story.
While the American Cancer Society hasn't filed a lawsuit against
anyone (yet), you might want to play it safe and forward this
entire email letter (unchanged) to everyone who received your
original "dying child" message so they know the original message
you sent them is a hoax.
-----
URBAN LEGEND:
Dying child #2. A dying child wants to be recorded in the Guinness
Book of World Records for receiving the most greeting cards.
The cards should be sent to the Make a Wish Foundation.
THE TRUTH (INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING IN YOUR EMAIL MESSAGE):
The story about a dying child wanting you to send him cards
through the Make-A-Wish foundation is an urban legend that
has plagued Make-AWish for well over 8 years. Make-A-Wish
has nothing to do with this bogus request, and they have
even created a special Web site that deals with this hoax
<http://www.wish.org/craig.htm>.
The story started in 1989 when Craig Shergold, a 9-year-old
English boy diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor, wanted
to be recorded in the Guinness Book of World Records for
receiving the most greeting cards. His wish was fulfilled
in 1990 after receiving 16 million cards. The child no
longer wants any cards. You can find the complete history
of the story at
http://urbanlegends.miningco.com/library/weekly/aa102997.htm
Proctor & Gamble has been dealing with a similar urban legend
recently (the P&G urban legend says a P&G executive proclaimed
his love of Satan on the Donahue show, and asks everyone to
boycott P&G's products). Proctor & Gamble's response? So far,
they have filed and won over a dozen lawsuits against people
who have spread this story.
While the Make-A-Wish Foundation hasn't filed a lawsuit against
anyone (yet), you might want to play it safe and forward this
entire email letter (unchanged) to everyone who received your
original "dying child" message so they know the original message
you sent them is a hoax.
-----
URBAN LEGEND:
Dying kid #3. A kid is dying of "ostiopliosis" of the liver.
Forward an email letter to as many people as possible, and X
cents will be donated to the "National Disease Society."
THE TRUTH (INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING IN YOUR EMAIL MESSAGE):
The story of the dying child who wants you to forward an email
message to as many people as possible is a cruel hoax. There
is no such organization as the National Disease Society and
there is no such disease as "ostriopliosis of the liver." You
can find out the complete story behind this hoax at
http://urbanlegends.miningco.com/library/weekly/aa021198.htm
Since the "dying child" story you just sent out is untrue, you
might want to play it safe and forward this entire email letter
(unchanged) to everyone who received your original "dying child"
message so they know the original message you sent them is a hoax.
-------------------------------
TODAY'S SOUTHERN WORD OF THE DAY
--------------------------------
TARA or TERRA (noun). A state of fear.
Usage: "I haven't felt this much tera since the night our
football team had to play against Bama!"
[Special thanks goes to Dr. Art Thompson for today's wurd]
You can find all of the old Southern Words of the day at
http://netsquirrel.com/crispen/word.html
=--------------------------------------------------------------------=
For info on my book "Atlas for the Information Superhighway"Visit
http://www.brigadoon.com/~crispen/atlas.html
---------------------------------------------------------------------
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Archives on the Web at http://www.TOURBUS.com
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(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
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